The delusion of continual growth
Some years back I had the opportunity to sit in on the sales and management meetings at a large auto dealership. After a short while a pattern of thought in the meeting began to take shape and each subsequent meeting I sat in on thereafter followed the same disturbing pattern, one of demanding, expecting continual growth in actuality.
Their reasons and motivations were evident, income. The dealership needed to sell vehicles to make profits for the year and each salesman also required sales to secure their income for living. It wasn’t the drive or ambition that caught my attention it was the management delusion that continual growth was not only expected, but was an absolute accepted fact.
They truly believed that there should be no time when sales would “drop off” and not show constant and consistent growth. Each month and year would grow to surpass the previous without digression in any manner from this upward ladder of productivity.
It is interesting that many of the businesses that I review have similar thought. They view business and production as a golden road that need only be followed. The surface will be smooth and few if any potholes and dangers will exist right from the first day they open the doors. Then they are shocked when things turn out differently.
We all want to improve and make progress in our lives. Every company in existence has that same mindset. Grow or die, make money or perish. However, it is the natural ebb and flow process that dictates times of gain and loss. Without a downward turn or at least stability the upward turn could not even be identified. Up and down must exist in a synergistic relationship. One cannot exist without the other.
Was it possible for the auto dealership to show continual growth over the years without any setbacks or slowing of sales? Certainly, but it is more probable especially with fluctuations in the economy that they would see good months and bad months just like the other businesses around them.
It was fine for them to approach their salesmen in a meeting with ambitious talk of projected record sales and commissions, but the managers should have a reasoned comprehensive grip on the fact that constant growth without slippage was improbable and virtually guaranteed not to occur over the long term. To accept and foster within self this ardent belief of constant growth was to create a delusion that brought great stress and anguish to them in times when actual growth faltered and their mindset pattern collapsed.
Over the years I have found that individuals also adopt this mentality regarding their life. They truly believe that they will awake each day and that everything will be perfect and productive. They seem oblivious to the fact that setbacks, delays and issues beyond their scope of influence exist and will eventually affect their lives in some way.
This is a natural part of living and interacting with others. Setbacks will always exist so expect them. If you don’t you will spend a large portion of your valuable time pondering what went wrong and why. Give your very best and accept the results you get. Then if you know in your heart and mind that you gave full effort the results will be disappointing, but not tragic.
You will be able to move on in a new fresh attempt to get better and better results instead of standing still ruminating over what has happened.
Positive thinking is fine, but comprehensive thinking defines both good and bad.
Results are the substance of living and teach us valuable lessons in how to refine life.
Cherish both the good and bad for what they provide and then move on decisively.
Downturns and setbacks are nothing more than the messengers or signals of change. They provide us with valuable information to be studied in the quest for better results that define quality and success in life.
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career, children, education, family, goals, life, motivation, parenting, personal excellence, personal development, personal growth, relationships, self help, self improvement, success, teaching, teens
Are you guilty of slicing
I travel a lot so I have plenty of time to observe the personality of others come out in the manner in which they drive their vehicles on the open highway. I am frequently amused and sometimes alarmed by the decisions reflected in the public driving habits.
Darting and dodging about as they seek advantage over the other drivers. In double or more lane traffic some choose to race by on the left and then “slice” back across in the right hand lane as soon as they identify a gap large enough for them to wedge their vehicle into.
A “gap” that is often visible only to them and not to the remaining drivers around them.
In most cases, this slicing process is a decision based on the Human Triggers where frustration and irritation initiates feelings that motivate the person to drastic and often uncharacteristic actions. They feel held back or delayed and seek to “get around” the vehicles that they have labeled as interfering or slow.
When the Human Thermostat level is low you are naturally impatient and feel constantly impeded. That person may also be triggered by feelings of loss or competition if they view themselves as having lost position when being passed by another.
Suddenly the motivation to “get it back” causes them to speed up and at times this competition evolves into a mindless and dangerous situation that borders on being completely out of control as drivers assign specific personalities to other vehicles based on reaction. Once they identify with each other the race is on to see which can get ahead or go faster.
We slice into line while driving our vehicles, at the store, in restaurants and often when we are totally unaware of the fact. Quality as a human being is defined by your thoughts and decisions. If you want quality results in your life you need to make quality decisions. Life is what you make of it.
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Redefining quality in your life
Do you hate Mondays? It’s surprising how many people actually start to dread the first day of the week while they are still trying to enjoy their weekend. I love Mondays!
Most people get up on Monday morning with their minds focused on how much of a drag and burden their job and responsibilities are going to be that week. They are constantly focused on the negatives ( or possible negatives that may not even occur ). There is little or no thought given to goals for the future or gratitude for what they already have.
This is your opportunity to awake refreshed and ready to start anew. You can use each morning to redefine the quality of your lifestyle and your direction in life. Even if last week was filled with difficult challenges, Monday morning is a chance to start out fresh by revisiting your goals for that day, week, month and year.
Each and every day is what you make of it. If you awake absolutely convinced that your day or week is going to turn out bad, it will. Challenges and concerns will always exist so don’t be surprised or disappointed when they do show up. Take a moment each morning to plan new goals that will keep you focused on achieving what it is that you really find fulfilling in life instead of wasting your time and mental energy on worry and useless shallow ( I want to ) functions.
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When 100 percent is not enough
Recently I chanced upon an interview with a top professional tennis player immediately after he had unexpectedly lost in a major tournament. What caught my attention was the mature manner in which he thought about and accepted this loss. He was visibly very disappointed, but was somewhat consoled because he felt that he had given 100% of himself while on the tennis court.
Here was the consummate professional, the very best in his sport and his response to those reporters was why he was the best. Not only was he honestly willing and truly committed enough to give everything he had within, he also understood that the score was not necessarily linked to that effort. Sometimes 100% just isn’t enough.
As a teen I was impressed with John Wooden, the former UCLA basketball coach, who directed his players with two primary thoughts in mind.
- Practice the fundamentals and techniques until they became habit patterns.
- Give absolutely 100% of yourself in everything you attempt to do.
Not only did the Wooden era teams create a dynasty of national championships, but many of his players excelled in their studies at college and later in their careers after basketball. They could rejoice in the fact that they had come that far, even if they weren’t always number one.
Take a good honest look at yourself and your efforts in life. Do you give even 90% of yourself each day to improve your lifestyle and career? Perhaps you should.
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A smaller piece of the pie
As a parent one of the things I get plenty of experience in is refereeing the sibling rivalry each day. This is a natural by-product of the original only child having their world fractured and distributed out to one or more rivals.
Remember, before the other little ones came along everything was at the sole beck and call of the first child. Now they struggle with thoughts and feelings of being slighted or ignored as part of their social time is spread out over all of the members of the family.
The oldest child likes to set the rules and boundaries for the younger siblings. They often want first choice and the largest portion and this includes the time allotted by parents. They are usually the first to become territorial and sensitive to privacy. As a parent you must be alert to the signals being given by an oldest child.
Mutual respect and the recognition or acknowledgement of responsible thought by any child goes a long way toward developing an attitude of acceptance and ambition in that child.
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Do you have bottomless pockets
One of the more startling aspects of a lower Human Thermostat person is how they handle money. It is not uncommon to see someone stuff their pockets with wads of rolled up bills. In some cases, that is their last paycheck and almost all of the liquid cash they have available.
This does several things:
- The larger sum of cash-in-hand is so much easier to spend
- The cash is lumped together and not apportioned for specifics
One of my favorite money skills with children is in developing a set of envelopes for specific debts and purchases. This still works for the adult too. Set aside envelopes for your primary household expenses.
- Savings
- Vacation
- Insurance / Taxes
- Loans / Credit
- Gas / Food
- Gifts
- Personal Money
- Anything else you need
Suddenly it becomes much easier to see that after all of the needs there isn’t as much spendable cash in that pocket as you might have thought. This is precisely how some people get so far in the hole financially. They spend from that endless pocket and find that they come up short at month’s end.
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Seven steps to true teen power
Stress is a natural part of life, but few times in life can be as stressful as the teen years when your body is changing and so many new things in life are happening.
There are some basic patterns that teens fall prey to during challenging times:
- Low self-esteem
- Fear, helplessness
- Confusion, indecision
- Random sense of direction
You don’t have to wait for all of those years of experience. Take control of yourself.
There are seven steps that you can take right now as a teen that will almost assure you a spot ahead of 99 percent of your peers. Your life and lifestyle will benefit and you’ll achieve more than you ever dreamed possible over many comfortable years.
- Be flexible in your thinking or problem solving and able to laugh at yourself.
- Know yourself well. Have a good sense of personal identity and self value.
- Be aware of your power to immediately initiate strong change in your life.
- Make firm decisions after consideration of what it can do to and for you.
- Create a sense of purpose and focus intently on what you want in life.
- Focus on a vision of young retirement, don’t willingly accept old age.
- Define your expectations to avoid being self-centered or unrealistic.
GO SEE the Real Results
A question a young couple asked a few days ago reminded me of a basic concept that I have shared with many over the years from my Living Dynamics program.
“Our lives are confused and hectic with job demands, children and things to do. What is the one thing you can tell us that will help?”
Those who know me also know I am not a big fan of acronym usage because it is usually over done. However, having said that I am guilty of employing the odd acronym at times if it best serves to illustrate an important point.
I told them, “GO SEE.” Specifically, “Go see the real world results.”
- GO is Get Organized.
- S is Simple
- E is Efficient.
- E is Empowering
Get organized in your entire life. Only keep important paperwork and bills and have a specific place for everything. It’s amazing how much time you can waste looking for some odd item, piece of paperwork or overlooked unpaid bill.
Keep everything as simple as possible. Try to keep insurance, medical, and other needs restrained to only a few companies instead of spread out over a confusing maze of contacts and policies. Bundle services if possible to save money and simplify billing.
Be efficient in all that you do. Plan ahead to avoid wasted trips and time. Learn to schedule tasks in a sequence and on days that eliminate driving around in circles and making extra or duplicate trips to places like the store or post office.
Focus on empowering activities. Getting family affairs such as a Will, Power of Attorney or Medical Directive in order and stored safely away are much more empowering in life than going to a party or hanging out at the local club.
Quality time spent in truly self enriching activities with your family and children are what create the substance of a higher standard of lifestyle wealth.
The young adult is in transition between the enthuastic teenager basing all on an adolesent understanding of the adult world and the true adult, responsible for themselves, their spouse and the lives of others in their children.
Acceptance of that responsibility and accountability is true adulthood not the fact that you have reached a legal age, live on your own or can have a child.
It’s fine to have a good time when the time is right, but to have excellence in life your primary focus should be on at least one thing each day which will greatly enhance the quality of your existence and lifestyle. Over time your entire life and future will become more stable, productive and fulfilling.
The hidden message you send
During the holidays I had the pleasure of venturing out into the mad public rush in
search of an unplanned gift for a family we would be visiting on a spur decision.Yes, I had already completed my shopping and wrapping for the season because
I like to buy gifts during the month of November before the rush is on and I dislike
waiting to the last minute and then having to poorly wrap lots of gifts all at once.
Not knowing this family I opted for the safety of a nice set of bed linens.
While in the linen department I observed a woman and her daughter of about 15
shopping. The mother selected a set of packaged sheets from the shelves and
deciding that the linens were not right for her needs she immediately dropped
them to the floor with a resounding thud.
I didn’t think much of this until I noticed that she had no intention of picking them
up and had dropped another set to the floor. This went on for 10 minutes as the
mother examined linens and dropped each set she handled to the floor. After a
few more minutes both turned and left the heap of packages there on the floor.
They purchased nothing.
The fact that the mother was too lazy to place the linen packages back on the
shelf where she got them from bothered me far less than the message she was
sending to her daughter.
That it was ok to trash the store shelves and do as you please without recourse.
Of course this is an extreme example, but how often do we as parents send our
children the wrong message without thinking?
We berate others, act foolishly and display some of the most appalling behavior
right in front of them and then wonder where they get their poor behavioral actions
from. Children take their learning examples from parents, other adults and peers.
Exasperated parents then claim that someone or something else has corrupted
their precious children never turning the behavioral microscope on themselves.
So next time you are compelled to act like that, if you can recognize the fact, try
to be a little more cautious in the message you are sending to your child or other
young people that may be watching. They may turn out just like you!
Why did you do that
It is difficult enough to be seen as a teen by adults regarding tastes and interests without dealing with self-understanding of learning and behavioral patterns too.
Adults don’t seem to like your clothes, music and even choices of food and friends. That’s ok, you are an individual and you need to realize that not everyone will agree with all of your choices throughout life. Your parents and grandparents are not “wrong”, they base their likes and dislikes on what they grew up with or are familiar and comfortable with as the standards they use to measure and judge others.
As a teenager everything seems normal and reasonable based on what you know, but is it really in the world of the responsible adult? Unfortunately, it is not. That is one of the major reasons why parents respond the way they do to your actions and desires. They have the life experience that allows them to see what you cannot.
The vision to see that you do not “know it all” only comes after you get years of real life experience. Unfortunately, by that time you have most probably already made the mistakes that you could have avoided if you had only had the vision when you were a teenager. So parents mean well in trying to guide you properly by sharing their vision.
The thought processes of the human mind and specifically frontal lobe development continues well into the mid 20’s and possibly the mid 30’s and exhibits a very complex set of learning and development patterns in teenagers. This is what helps to determine “why you did that” when you don’t really know why you did.
On top of that there are some things that you enjoy doing that might inhibit or slow your mental reasoning and functional development. An important part of becoming an adult capable of making choices and decisions that will be taken seriously by other adults, including parents is in realizing that you are not yet and still have a lot to learn and a long way to go in life experience before you are.
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