Performance Enhancement || Business Influence & Leadership || Family Unity || Parent & Child Communication || Personal Habit Patterns

It’s something I hear from lots of parents. Their own statements of the constant and consistent yelling at their unresponsive children. They point and gesture and literally scream till blue and yet the kids just sit there. It’s like yelling at the wall.

There is a reason these parents don’t get any response and it goes a lot further than the disrespect shown from both sides during the communication exchange.

As a child you should always respect your parents and their commitment to your wellbeing and life. As a parent you should respect your child’s thoughts and feelings as an individual and person. The way that you choose to communicate with your child has a lot to do with the quality of the response.

I have watched parents in a constant yelling process with their children. They have one volume and tone of voice and the kids learn to tune it out of their awareness. They become numb to the pattern. Try to maintain at least three distinct voice levels for effective response.

First, is the easy low request of a personal favor. My children usually respond to this out of respect and understanding of the quality of favor. They usually adopt this pattern as their own tone when requesting a favor. I make certain to look them in the eye and may even take them by the shoulder as I make the request. It is never made from across the room at an impersonal distance.

Secondly, have a normal daily communication volume and tone.
Simple everyday conversation.

Finally, have a forceful authority voice that is rarely heard. This voice defines when the children need to take notice and actually respond immediately. It is firm, abrupt and noticed instantly as something that is not to be ignored. Usually you will get that shocked ( deer in the headlights ) look and then they will jump to whatever they were requested to do, post haste.

Remember that your children are people too. Just because they may be young and you brought them into the world doesn’t mean they don’t have complex human dynamics and feelings. Treat them with a graduated design when asking them to do anything and you will probably get a better response.

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One of the things that never cease to amaze me is how one member of a couple will react to disagreement in the relationship through using their affection as a weapon against their partner. Some quiet time apart to think and cool down is one thing, but withholding love is quite another.

Once they become involved in an argument or severe disagreement one wants nothing to do with the other and that then extends beyond simply not speaking. Relationships are give and take and it is natural to have moments when you need space, but love for a partner or spouse, like your children should be unconditional.

When you withdraw your love and affection you send a real message to the other person that goes far beyond disagreement. Disagreement is a surface difference of opinion or thought. Love is a foundation emotion that has roots deep into the beliefs and needs makeup of the individual.

When you disagree or argue with someone you may bruise their feelings or ego, but the willingness and acceptance of love withdrawal as a viable method of dealing with the moment damages the relationship in a way that takes a while to get over.

Some people may never feel the same if this is your first best choice of action.

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Will Obama win, or will Clinton? The race is tight and that is a question that will only be answered when all of the polls are closed and the votes are counted, but their influence has already been felt by the millions of people they influence in person and on television.

People are strongly influenced by their personal point of view and their inner beliefs. Some will not release their grip on beliefs.

In politics those who side with one party view refuse to see the other views even if it would be in their interest and the best interest of their constituents to do so.

Political campaigning is all about votes and supporting your party cause. Serving in office is about being for all of the people. Once elected this person must shift their thoughts and desires to represent all people not just the people who support a particular party. They must be strong enough to let go of some of their personal and political desires to support those with different views and opinions.

The highest office in this country represents the people in mass. If one cannot put down the specific party cause and take up the cause for all then that person is biased and partial.

Will Obama or Clinton win? It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that the person who does get elected takes responsibility for the position and is accountable for their decisions and actions to all people not just a select group of individuals.

This includes you. You may have causes and specific interests, but you must live in balance with all people and you must take responsibility for your life, actions and words and be accountable for the way you choose to live life and interact with others.

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